Somthing I alwasys had fun with, so starting a thread for Poems.

Jugsmalone · Post by **Jugsmalone** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:43 pm

Bravo Whispy, a different kind for you but still very profound. I love it keep them comeing guys!!!

Audrins · Post by **Audrins** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:09 am

Whisper love the analogy you make in this one between writing poetry and sketching a piece of art :smile:

Audrins · Post by **Audrins** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:06 am

kk. This will make no sense to anybody who's never read "The Simarillon" by Tolkien. I wrote it after reading "The Simarillon".

Star Lit Race

In the time of Powers so great none can tell
In a time of the birth of trees of pale light
When Evil was born in the heart of but one
And Love was persecuted in the death of Creations
The wars of the gods against an outcast generator
And the Light of The One was manifested by Valar
A time so forgotten, except told in children's tales
Before even Arwen and Aragorn
A time of Beasts of Fire and Hells flames
A time of Fearies and Dragon's Banes
So lost are the tales of Wizardry and fame
Of Lore so Gone none can rename

Deep mossy forests covered in roots
Before a silent centaur stargazing so mute
And the eyes of lesser Angels falling to insanity
To the call of one who would rather be majesty
Many would come and help in his cause
Many would be forced to break eternal laws

But in the end the Truth be told
Nothing would matter after evil's so bold
Destruction would be the end of those ways
And paradise would come forever to stay

But in new creations none can foretell
Others would most certainly rebel
Causing great rifts in time to occur
So that once again proof would have to be spent
To show that the Light will always endure
And Darkness would however it thought
Never again cause pain and distraught

In the plains of the light of trees like to the first
Dwelling in painless happiness and sweet new birth
Under the light of a new beginning to forever know
The Truth and the Givings with purposes new
And Morgoth in firey eternal chains
Sown in these hearts the cleansing Rain
And on Their Faces the Light of Eru

2002 :razz:

Jugsmalone · Post by **Jugsmalone** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:46 pm

I have not read Tolkien, but I did read your poem and it still made sense to me. It was great

Prymalrage · Post by **Prymalrage** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:53 pm

The Simarillon is one I have read to death

The poem is great. I recognize the references.

Audrins · Post by **Audrins** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 2:29 am

Thank you both! The only thing out of place is the Centaur

Just added it for effect

Prymalrage · Post by **Prymalrage** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:39 am

Children

Trusting eyes look up
Love unrestrained is given
Apple trees blossom

bellianna · Post by **bellianna** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:24 am

Audrins... just wow.

Whisper, i don't know any mother who wouldn't love that one

Audrins · Post by **Audrins** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 2:49 am

Ty Bell

Whisper, is that a haiku? I've never written one myself. I really liked that.

Prymalrage · Post by **Prymalrage** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 3:07 am

Mostly. Haikus usually create an image of an out door seen. I like to use other things as well. I also like th 5-7-5 syllable format. The last line must be a season.

Coffeewench · Post by **Coffeewench** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:09 am

The last line doesn't have to be a season, although traditionally a haiku will always reference a season. The important thing is that the last line contains some kind of... um... I guess "twist" is maybe the best word, or transition... an additional thought that transforms the previous two lines, and takes them someplace unexpected.

So, to take a very basic example, the first two lines might be about watching the blossom in springtime, and the final one about the sadness that a lover is no longer there to see it. A pretty poem about delicate blossom is switched into a tale of lost love, and ideally, that twist should make you re-evaluate the previous two lines - so in this case, you may end up seeing the blossom as something fragile and short-lived, like the love affair.

It's all very clever stuff, and I've never been able to do it properly. (Use 17 syllables to wriie something? Are you, like, insane? I need a five and a half chapter epic saga just to say 'good morning!' ;-)

) I probably ought to give it another go though - am going lots of editing down of writing at the minute, and it'd be a good challenge... *muses*

Anyway, the 2nd –> 3rd line transition doesn't have to be blatant, it can be very subtle or symbolic, but it's what a lot of people miss out when writing haikus - they just concentrate on the syllable count. And it's why Whisper's ones posted here work so well, because they transition perfectly!

Audrins · Post by **Audrins** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:44 am

Thankyou both for explaining that. I might try one someday :smile:

Prymalrage · Post by **Prymalrage** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:05 am

I love that explination Coffee. Has given me a couple of Ideas. All I had was a basic explination and some samples when I started doing them.

Prymalrage · Post by **Prymalrage** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:57 pm

Lovers

Roses bloom; sunshine
Lips like soft fragrant petals
Dew kisses bodies

Chimes

Ringing harmony
Little bells stir in the wind
Golden leaves on trees

Coffeewench · Post by **Coffeewench** » Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:32 pm

Writing of haiku
confounded by hangover
Happy New(ish) Year!

GSP Dancers

Somthing I alwasys had fun with, so starting a thread for Poems.

Whisper's poem

Star Lit Race

Thank you

Haiku

Haiku